Someone Leaves Home

I was light, I was velocity, I was a tumbleweed, I was a mouse, I was a chanterelle, I was a red light, I was a stone, I was rain, I was a pterodactyl, I was a mother, I was a book, I was a song, I was a fern, I was a swallowtail, I was a knife, I was an aleph, I was a wave, I was a flea, I was a bridge, I was a rail, I was

a rise, I was a tusk, I was a narwhal, I was a wheel, I was a pig, I was a cave, I was a sneeze, I was a sore, I was a wind, I was a call, I was a pistil, I was a pulse, I was skin, I was a coincidence, I was a voyage, I was a convergence, I was a mask, I was a mole, I was a cuckoo, I was an eel, I was a dodo, I was a

breakdown, I was a stranger, I was a canyon, I was a queen, I was a thrill, I was a fermata, I was an absurdity, I was a kiss, I was a foxglove, I was a vixen, I was a photon, I was a swarm, I was a hive, I was a network, I was a pattern, I was a sign, I was a paella, I was a hearth, we are adventures, …

Actio	~      Action! ~      The doing in not-doing, the not-doing in doing	1.     The body risks itself to know the world.
Aeternitas	~      Timelessness ~      Time’s wide open space	1.     In time, but of the untimely, each moment passes and remains. 2.     Time consumed by time becomes eternity.
Affectum imitatio	~      The community of feeling ~      Mirror feelings	1.     Always watching the others. 2.     Imagining you imagining me, we imagine us. 3.     Feeling for, feeling with, feeling through,…

Thou Shalt Not

You cannot go. You cannot stay. You cannot. Why. Why. I want to. I don’t want to. Happiness is there. It is waiting. Happiness is in. Don’t. You will lose yourself. You must find. You must lose. Listen. Whatever you do, you mustn’t. Don’t listen to me. Don’t listen to you. Listen to. The old ones said you shouldn’t. The old

ones said. Words bind. Are bondage. Freedom. Love love love. Desire is. Paradox tranquilizes. The telly told him what to do. The book told him what not. He did. He didn’t. He was. This is the path. No this. There is no. Patience is a vice. Leave me. Please don’t. Habit is my armor. My cell. Everyone wants to be

my father. I want to be an orphan. Your love suffocates me. Please suffocate me. There’s no time. You have to go. Do but do. Thou shalt not shalt not. Sleep sleep. Open your eyes. The ocean is beckoning. Do not cross. Transgression is freedom. I will kill the words in me. I will write the arrival. Départ!

Affectus	~      Affect/ion ~      Interaction/ Interpassion	1.     One body touches another… 2.     The innocent promiscuity of the body.
Ahimsa	~      Benevolent nonviolence ~      Kindheartedness	1.     Cruelty is no protection from suffering.
Amor dei intel-lectualis	~      Contemplation as adoration ~      Wonder unbound	1.     To love without subject or object—boundlessly. (Love without lovers or beloveds, no illusions, no disillusionment.)

And Evil

Who is the enemy? Sugar. Power. Kleptocracy. The fathers do what the father must.  Chained to words. Abused by language. There is no freedom. You will lose. It. All. You’ve wasted your life. You’re wasting. Who do you think? You are you own worst. Death is always. Addicted to yourself. Withdrawal. What are you? A cave? The smell of dirt. No one will save you. Lazy!

Evil your punishment. Evil your brother. And so he went in search of. A teacher. What you need to do. Easy, huh? All things excellent. Difficult. Too easy. Pay your dues. Work work. No time. You have to. Everything spills over. You can’t do it alone. Alone. Despair has its consolations. It makes no difference. There’s always extinction. Put it out! Out! The others can’t

be trusted. No imagination. Everyone’s looking. Nobody cares if you breathe or die. Your infinitesimalness amuses me. You are. Old. Loveless. Spent. Disgusting. God is watching. Dead. You are a disappointment said the trilobites. You could have been someone. Instead you chose this. Bum. You deserve your. I’ll show you! Your destruction will be my creation.

Amor et odium	~      For and against ~      The objectification of pleasure and pain	1.     The idea of love the greatest obstacle to love. (The lover confuses love with the idea of.) 2.     No time for love. Now is the time for love. (Love, liberated from hate, has no past or future.)
Anatman	~      Unselfing ~      Becoming anonymous	1.     Chained to the self. (Where there is no self, there is no-one to liberate.) 2.     When the self blinks, reality shows itself. (It was never hiding.)
Animitta	~      The silence of signlessness ~      The death of the concept	1.     Beyond belief and unbelief, the signless world blisses. 2.     Pleasure-pain, love-hate, mine-yours—just signs. In the signless, there is only         3.     Blocking all exits from the empire of signs—the fearsome sign of impossibility. Outside the fearless impossibility of signs awaits us. The way out? Silence.

In Search of

INTERROGATOR: Tell us everything he knows.

INFORMER: He knows nothing.

INTERROGATOR: Who is his mother?

INFORMER: He doesn’t know where he came from.

INTERROGATOR: What is he planning?

INFORMER: He doesn’t know where he’s going.

INTERROGATOR: Why are you here?

INFORMER: I answer your questions.

INTERROGATOR: How do we get him?

INFORMER: Leave him alone.

INTERROGATOR: What is he afraid of?

INFORMER: Germs.

INTERROGATOR: What else?

INFORMER: The others.

INTERROGATOR: What others?

INFORMER: All of them.

INTERROGATOR: Why?

INFORMER: He’s always thinking.

INTERROGATOR: He’s afraid of thoughts?

INFORMER: He’s afraid.

INTERROGATOR: What is he going to do?

INFORMER: Sometimes he surprises himself.

INTERROGATOR: Who are his accomplices?

INFORMER: Sometimes what he doesn’t know helps him.

INTERROGATOR: Will it help him escape?

INFORMER: You know as well as I do.

INTERROGATOR: There’s no escape.

INFORMER: There’s no escape.

INFORMER: But if he’s not trying to escape?

INTERROGATOR: Now we’re getting somewhere.

Anitya	~      Flux ~      Changefulness	1.     The world a beautiful bottomless monster devouring all our names. 2.     The only true story is metamorphosis. 3.     Change the only redemption from change. 4.     The great liberator—nameless, aimless, blameless.
Apranihita	~      Aimlessness ~      Vagrant ecstasy	1.     The shortest path between departure and arrival. 2.     The burden of destination. (Where is the sky going?) 3.     When there’s nowhere to go, there’s no one to be. (When here is here, there is no there there.)
Attributi	~      Reality’s manifolds ~      Parallel multiverses	1.     How many imperceptible dimensions coiling and uncoiling in the gaps of perception? 2.     Infinitely more infinite than the perceptible universe are the imperceptible ones. (Sometimes there are flashes.) 3.     A flickering intersection of the seen and the unseen, I am becoming-visible and becoming-invisible at once.

Something is Discovered

MOIRA: He will lose.

ALEA: There will be twists and turns.

AYNA: He will refuse to see.

MOIRA: He will lose his will.

ALEA: There will be confrontations, missed connections.

AYNA: He sees what he believes.

MOIRA: He will forget.

ALEA: Sometimes.

AYNA: He is looking for something to look for. He is looking for himself.

MOIRA: Up will go down, in will turn out.

ALEA: There will be accidental friends and enemies.

AYNA: A double will shadow him.

MOIRA: Deaths are inevitable.

ALEA: The four winds will blow.

AYNA: Will he recognize it in time?

MOIRA: No one can predict the consequences.

ALEA: The universe is playing dice.

AYNA: He sees and doesn’t see.

MOIRA: What has been seen cannot be unseen.

ALEA: Love is a wheel.

AYNA: A self-portrait is impossible.

MOIRA: Today is the day.

ALEA: Seized by the day, who knows where it will take him?

AYNA: Everything changes on the other side.

MOIRA: You have to live it to believe it. (It might make him stronger. It could kill him.)

ALEA: Nobody knows. Yet.

AYNA: Nevertheless. (Between rising darknesses, sudden illuminations.) Will he learn to lose his will to win, to lose?

Avidya

~      Willing ignorance ~      Denial

1.     Ignorance a defense not only against knowing but also against not-knowing. 2.     Ignorance’s counterpart not knowledge but desire. (The one who desires refuses to know desire.)